Friday, October 17, 2008

Powerbar Recovery - My tastebuds must be busted?

I just ate this peanut butter caramel crisp flavor with chocolatey coating Powerbar Recovery. And it tasted pretty good? So either my tastebuds are totally wrecked for some reason, or I was really hungry after this run? The odds that it can help restore muscle lipids and still taste good must be slim to none. (And, odds are not the same as probability, which is not the same as percent. Just sayin'.)


Where is our camera cord? It's missing, and I want to post photos of our two (two!) ovens and the stuff I baked in them....

Friday, October 10, 2008

Part 2

I didn't want to keep you waiting for too long, since now the story gets pretty interesting. Did I mention I was barely on hold last night?

Part 2:
So she's sending signals to the cable box and it's not responding. And not responding. And the time comes back but disappears again. And doesn't respond. And then she sends it another signal. And we have cable again! Sweet. I was going to watch a DVD anyway. But then I'll be able to get the weather tomorrow.
So she says "Well, go ahead and try your internet."
(No one's been able to get it set up for TWO DAYS over the phone. Just in case you had forgotten.)
I said, "OK, but if it works, you deserve a big prize, it's taken 3 hours on the phone to get nowhere." More than three hours. Of bullshit Comcast people making life miserable and sucking away our internet.

I tried it anyway.

Then I told her I loved her.

Wow. The girl who reset the TV. BROUGHT US INTERNET. LOVE IT!

Trying to get money back from bills that don't exist in Comcast-land

Comcast-land is an imaginery strange and bizarre place where bills take two weeks to get from my kitchen to their computer. And phones don't connect to who they should, remember that.

So for some reason, I can give them the phone number for our old place, but they can't link it to the new place. And the phone number on the account is out of area code so it automatically brings us to the wrong people. But somehow, this number won't bring up the account. Hello, I'm confused. Anyway, today I didn't have the account number with me, so they had to look it up by address. And typed in the wrong address and said we had no additional charges. Have you seen the bill on my counter? No. We have $50+ dollars in installation. Then the girl isn't even looking at October. Hold on. Actually, she isn't even in the right address.

Deep breaths.

So we don't have any bills yet. I know, that blue slip of paper sitting on my kitchen counter? Imaginary! This means she can't see the installation charges and can't credit us any installation charges... There's about a 2 week lag in bills getting from the cable guy to the billing people (note: proves incompetence, for sure). I can call back when we get the bill with the installation charges that were for a useless installation of internet & cable. AWESOME.

Fun conversation:
ICE, "Where's your service?" (Note, I entered a 202 number, that's the service area about a mile away from us.)
Me, "Northern VA."
ICE, "Where?"
Me, internal dialogue: I entered 202, which is A MILE AWAY, and you don't understand "Northern Virginia?"
Me, external dialogue: "Arlington, VA"
ICE, "You need to call the Arlington number, 703 841 7700."
Me, "So should I just stop calling the 1-800 number?"
ICE, "Yes."

Calling the Arlington number to confirm that the 781 number is associated with the account, the girl (named Patience, funny enough) gives me a different phone number we should call 703 730 2225. Note that this is different from the number that shows up on the TV when the service goes out, which is 703 823 3000.


Please visit an excellent website to take your mind off of Comcast FAIL. And put it on other FAIL: KTHNXBAI

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Two more parts of today's Comcast-drama

Our cable went out again tonight. Settop not authorized for use. AGAIN??? The TV was just working. Thank god I got to watch The Office. And somehow I got through fairly quickly. So this girl asks if the internet is working.
Nope. Nope nope nope.
I might have actually laughed, because we haven't found a single person who can solve internet.Then she says, oh there's a note that says they were having trouble getting into the boiler room. I'm trying to figure out if that was from Tuesday or from when I told them they needed to call the property management people for tomorrow. I'm thinking, oh no. If it's from Tuesday, we seriously have a problem.

Interlude: Comcast had been calling all day. I talked to them at one point, figure out that they were calling to sort out the appointment for tomorrow. Then they kept calling. And then they started PRANK CALLING. Because they would call, I would answer, and then no one would be there. Hello? Hello, Comcast? NOT OK. So I called back, thinking this could be on account of the people who have been scanning blogs. And I wait on hold a couple times with little patience for a person. Finally, a person! In Florida? She told me to call back using the same number and the same prompt I just pressed into the phone. Press 2 for Northern Virginia. Well geez, I thought that's where I was. Fine, I'll call back because she can't transfer me. OK. Take 2. Same number. Press 2 for Northern Virginia. Get a girl in Ohio. Uh, good place for the election, I say. She says, if it goes the way I want it to. I think the same thing. But I don't ask which way that is. (OBAMA-BIDEN 08!) Anyway, apparently they'd been prank calling me all day to re-confirm the appointment for tomorrow they confirmed this morning. Along with the phone lines being crossed at Comcast, maybe the brain lines are crossed as well, since no one seemed to remove the confirmation from their list.
Fine. Back to patiently waiting for tomorrow and missing work to get internet tomorrow night. Fine.

(Yeah, like a double episode of Dawson's Creek or something.)

Pumpkin Bread

It's coming...
(1) Need to buy a pumpkin
(2) Or two
(3) And make pumpkin bread
(4) And pumpkin pie
(5) And apple pie (note: buy apples too)
(6) Delicious!

And yeah, I will post the recipe for the pumpkin bread as soon as I make some first this season. But it is the best.

Smash it with a hammer...

And here's the clip:

Reading my blog because of the Comcast drama? Post your crazy stories in the comments. Comcast is viewing the blog (SO WEIRD) so here's to letting them know how you feel!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It's *NOT* Comcastic!

God, I hate Comcast. Today I wished I had the cojones of this lady. Or maybe I'll put Comcast in a box, and put that box in another box, and mail it to myself, and when it gets here I'll smash it with a hammer! (Yes, Emperor's New Groove is an excellent movie.)

I sort of don't know where to begin. Let me start this way: I FUCKING HATE COMCAST!
So yesterday, the Comcast guy came by to install our cable and internet at the new place. Where I can't get Verizon or DirecTV or anything else that is NOT Comcast. And when he left our tv was working and about an hour later our internet was *almost* working. As in, I couldn't download "Comcastinstallwizard.dmg" and get online. Even though the signal from our Airport was clearly getting to the computer, then Comcast sets up this block to it. When I got home later (as in 9pm), I finally gave in and called. Then SB called. Then I called.

Oh wait, back up. I tried to call. When I pressed the button for problem with internet - it went to Comcast's closed sales department. So I decided there was a problem with the cable (astounding foresight here, also, too) and then had my call transferred to a nice girl who was a little baffled but seemed to be genuinely trying to help me out. Then she put me on hold. Never let them put you on hold, because apparently that means, "I'm going to try to put you on hold, but I work for Comcast and thus am just not the most intelligent guy/gal out there (feeling Joe-Six-Pack), so when I try to put you on hold, what I'm actually going to do is accidentally disconnect you.


Call back. Again. Go through Cable. Again. Talk to a moron who schedules an appointment for Thursday, 3-6. Not like I didn't already take a morning off of work.

AWESOME. We're gonna call back again. And by we, I mean this time SB decides he's going to try to get through too. Bon Chance! Oh disconnection. Finally I get to this other woman. Things are humming along - look! we've discovered you have 2 accounts! one of them is for your old address? oh dear, we made an appointment there? you don't have phone service anymore?

Aiiiii, and then this happens: Random man's voice: "Whoa. That was cool."
Woman on the phone: "So my computer just froze up."
Me, in disbelief: "Can you transfer me to someone."
Increasingly incompetent Comcast employee: "No, you'll have to call back."

For the love of Pete. Seriously? Your computer freezes and I have to navigate through your phone line to another incompetent Comcast employee [ICE]? GAAAAAH.

After some more time on hold, when this time I try, "I don't doubt that you can help me, but I've been on the phone for 2 hours and can I speak with a supervisor?" (Apparently not.)
And truth, this guy actually asks what the IP address is and some other stuff, but then says, "Well, someone's in your account."

YEAH. Because her computer CRASHED. "Can you have someone override that?"

Guess what he said? "No."
But, he did "escalate our ticket" and told me we'd have internet in the morning.

Flash forward 7 hours.

I can download the install wizard! YAY!
I have no internet connectivity upon set-up! BOO!
Our cable's out too! WHAT THE FUCK?????????

Next phone call to Comcast: So our cable is now out and they said it would be on this morning.
Solution: We'll send a technician. Monday.
Me: Various innapropriate curse words in my head.... Well. Can you at least credit us the installation fee?
ICE: Did they install the cable?
Me: Cursing in my head. Yes, but it hasn't worked yet.
ICE: Well they already installed it. Did you sign when the technician left?
Me: *@#*&%@$(*^@

Then I called from work. And tried to use a cell number as the account number. And called Boston's Comcast office. He gave me Alexandria's office.
Sort of. Apparently, a national call center. The guy there is able to make me an appointment Friday afternoon (I should never have given up Thursday lost wages) because I'm not home to tell him what lights are on on the modem and *brief interlude for immaturity* says, "If I do that it will end up burning our your box." Ha. Moment over. But refuses to take the number to call the property management to access our boiler rooms. And tries to tell me that regardless of what I'm reading to him verbatim that says Comcast itself must call, I need to call.


I call back. Reach someone. And am immediately disconnected.

Last call of the morning. In which I reach a nearly brand new ICE with particularly bad English.
2 minutes in, he asks me if I'm having a good day. Well, no. But you're always supposed to say yes to those questions. I tell him I'm calling to give him the number for this... Then he says, I kid you not, ICE says: "Well, I see you have cable and internet. Are you interested in getting phone service too?"


Ohmigod! If one more ICE says to me, "Thank you for choosing Comcast" I really might get down with grandma hammer. I have a lot of tools in our closet.